The Best Golf Sayings of All Time
Golf has been around for a long time now, and in that time it's drawn interest from all corners of history. Whether celebrity players, players who've become celebrities, movies and TV, or just wisdom passed down by anonymous lovers of the game, golf sayings are everywhere. Some are endlessly quotable, others ring just as true about life as they do the game. There are golf sayings that make us laugh, and some that capture the unique frustrations of trying to master an un-winnable game.
Having already covered the terminology players use on (and off) the course, we've decided to take a look at jokes, movies, history, and legends in order to put together this collection of our favorite golf sayings.
Golf Sayings About the Game
Of course, a huge focus of golf sayings is golf itself. Inside jokes, tips, and truths shared by players looking to connect with other people who are equally passionate about the game. Some come from people we all know, others have more obscure origins – perhaps that anonymity adding potency to the simple truths that can be found within.
“Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.” – Anonymous
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." – Jack Lemmon
"I don't care to join any club that's prepared to have me as a member." – Groucho Marx
"I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk, and a moose." – Gerald Ford
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing." – Phyllis Diller
"The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bagpipes and called it music." – Anonymous
"An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse." – Anonymous
"Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic." – Anonymous (or maybe Earl Wilson)
BONUS: Caddy Jokes
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!"
Caddy: "I don't think so, that would be too much of a coincidence."
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on"
Caddy: "This isn't the course, we left that an hour ago!"
Golf Sayings About Life
When you get bitten by the golf bug, the game can start to consume your life. And sometimes, your life can start to consume the game. These golf sayings ring true beyond the boundaries of the course, extending to many facets of everyday life.
"Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air." – Jack Benny
"Success in this game depends less on strength of body than strength of mind and character." – Arnold Palmer
"Competitive golf is played mainly on a five and a half inch course... the space between your ears." – Bobby Jones
"A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave." – Jack Nicklaus
"I never learned anything from a match that I won." – Bobby Jones
"The most important shot in golf is the next one." – Ben Hogan
"A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing." – Payne Stewart
"Golf is the closest to the game that we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots – but you have to play the ball where it lies." – Bobby Jones
Golf Sayings from Movies
We've already covered some of the endlessly quotable golf movies, but we couldn't resist coming back for more…
Tin Cup (1996)
Roy McAvoy (Kevin Costner): "Well I'm gonna qualify for the US Open and kick your boyfriend's ass. Whatever you think of me, you should know he hates old people, children, and dogs."
The Legend of Bagger Vance (2000)
Bagger Vance (Will Smith): Inside each and every one of us is our one, true authentic swing. Something we was born with. Something that's ours and ours alone. Something that can't be learned... something that's got to be remembered.
Rannulph Junuh (Matt Damon): What were you doing out there? I could have killed you!
Bagger Vance: Nah, actually, I positioned myself right in front of you, cause from the way your swings were goin, I figured that was the safest place.
Caddyshack (1980)
Carl Spackler (Bill Murray): So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.
Angie D'Annunzio (Peter Berkrot): A looper?
Carl Spackler: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005)
Harry Vardon (Stephen Dillane): Let me tell you something. I came here to win a trophy. And on the face of it Ted Ray or I should carry it off. Not for you, not for England, but for sheer bloody pride at being the best. That's why we do this. And if Mr. Ouimet wins tomorrow, it's because he's the best, because of who he is. Not who his father was, not how much money he's got, because of who he bloody is! And I'll thank you to remember that. And I'll thank you to show the respect a gentleman gives as a matter of course.
Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (2004)
Walter Hagen (Jeremy Northam): Tell me Bobby why do you play this game?
Bobby Jones (Jim Caviezel): I play because I love it.
Hagen: Well I play for the money. I have to win. That is why every time we face each other I will always beat you.
Famous Golf Sayings
No compilation of golf sayings would be complete without the input from the game's greatest legends. Whether funny, or uniquely poignant, these quotes capture the spirit of the game – for better or for worse.
"The most important shot in golf is the next one." – Ben Hogan
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness." – William Wordsworth
"Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result.' – Tommy Armour
"To find a man's true character, play golf with him." – PG Wodehouse
"They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken." – Ray Floyd
"Golf is a good walk spoiled." – Mark Twain
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt." – Dean Martin
"I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters." – Bob Hope
"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well." – Craig Stadler
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty." – Harry Vardon
“I don't let birdies and pars get in the way of having a good time.” – Angelo Spagnolo
“It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course.” – Hank Aaron
“A leading difficulty with the average player is that he totally misunderstands what is meant by concentration. He may think he is concentrating hard when he is merely worrying.” – Bobby Jones
“Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.” – Bobby Jones
“A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don't have the guts to try it.” – Phil Mickelson
“The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.” – Pete Dye
“Golf is about how well you accept, respond to, and score with your misses much more so than it is a game of your perfect shots.” – Dr. Bob Rotella